1. The Journey of Discovering Maverick’s Differences

As a mom of four, I’ve had my share of experiences raising kids. My oldest three are young adults now, and I thought I had seen it all. But when Maverick came along, things felt different from the start. It wasn’t something I could put my finger on right away, but as time went on, I started to notice some behaviors that didn’t quite fit the usual developmental milestones I was used to.

Maverick had some unique quirks. He would walk on his tiptoes and even go into a full point on his feet. At times, he would run back and forth for what seemed like no reason at all, and he rocked while watching TV. He would stim, flapping his hands constantly, and there was this long, drawn-out “Eeeeeeeee” that he would yell pretty regularly. These behaviors started to raise a red flag in my mind, but as a mom, I wasn’t sure if it was just a phase or something more.

Then things started changing even more. Maverick, who used to eat a variety of foods, suddenly stopped eating many of the things he once loved. He even stopped babbling and saying the few words he had mastered. As a mom with 20+ years of parenting under my belt, I knew that something was off. Could this be a delay, or was it something more?

I began to notice how he would glance at us quickly and then hurry off to run around or look away, almost like he was avoiding eye contact. When we called his name, he didn’t respond. At first, I thought he was just a stubborn little boy, determined to do everything on his own time and in his own way. But deep down, I knew that something wasn’t adding up.

Then came the hard part. The mom guilt. I started wondering if I had caused this. I had Maverick when I was 39, just a couple of months shy of 40, and that lingering doubt crept into my mind—had my age played a part in his delays? Had I done something during my pregnancy or in the early days that contributed to what I was seeing now? The thoughts were overwhelming, and I had to fight to push them aside. As much as I wanted answers, I couldn’t let guilt cloud my judgment or keep me from helping him in the way he needed.

I knew I had to stay calm and level-headed as we prepared for our visit to the pediatrician. I had to be sure to advocate for Maverick and not let my emotions cloud my ability to get him the support he might need. I had to remind myself that this journey wasn’t about blame—it was about understanding what was going on and getting the help he deserved. I could feel the weight of it all, but I also felt the strength to move forward. We had to figure this out, together.